I’ve got a bad case of the Aprils. April Anxiety. So I needed some help.
P.J.: What’s wrong with you?
Brendan: I don’t know. I am not right.
P.J.: Dude, you are sick, okay? Just go see a doctor.
Brendan: No. No doctors.
P.J.: No doctors? What are you, like a wounded bank robber?
Brendan: My health insurance got canceled. I have no choice. I’ve got to go to Dr. Brando now.
Bobby: Who’s Dr. Brando?
P.J.: He’s the doctor that lives inside his head.
Brendan: Went to Harvard medical school.
Bobby: Inside your head?
Brendan: Whatever dude, it’s Harvard.
P.J.: Anyway, it’s Brando’s self-diagnosing, usually using the internet. And the last time he did it, it did not go very well.
Dr Brando’s prescription for April Anxiety was easy. More homers. Who am I to argue with a Harvard trained physician?
Back to back homers for the first time this year? (So-ri-ahhh-no! and Soto!) Check.
A Second helping of Soriano? Check and Check.
Quality start by Zambrano? 6 innings, 2 runs. Check.
Domination from the three-headed monster of Wood/Marshall/Marmol? 3 innings, 3 hits, 4 K, 0 runs. Check, Check and Check.
Soriano is locked in. And anyone who has watched the Cubs knows, that when the Fonz is locked in – you just get out of the way. It doesn’t last the whole year of course :)P But it can certainly be fun to watch. Soriano now owns the record for the most homers ever hit by a Cub during a month of April (and the team has been around awhile… as other fans like to point out).
Wins can settle a team down. Good Zambrano was joking about settling down after giving up a ‘cheap homerun’ to Justin Upton. (It sailed 455 feet into the second deck – and I was afraid they would have to alert the FAA)
Let’s get another one today. May is just around the corner, and I’m excited.
Remember Cubs, the prescription is more homers. Trust Dr. Brando.
Oh, and Jordana Spiro? Call me.